Self-Love
Jan 18, 2022
If I were to die tomorrow and someone asked me, "What's the message you want to leave behind?"
My answer would be: "Teaching on Self-Love" - aka learning to re-parent yourself & connect to your True Self.
The idea of self-parenting is not new. For instance, Dr. Nicole LePera is a big advocate of this work and has popularized the idea of being a self-healer. I have my own perspective on what re-parenting looks like. But if you haven't heard of her work, I highly recommend the book "How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self."
I am the proudest of breaking a number of generational patterns:
- having a loving and safe home,
- communicating my needs,
- respecting my boundaries,
- resting when I need to,
- making money from things I enjoy doing,
- providing respectful parenting to my child,
- having my own opinion on a number of topics,
- taking my physical and mental health into my own hands. Recognizing that illness is a symptom, not the cause. And mainstream medicine is generally only good with crisis management but not prevention.
- experiencing joy in life
- having meaningful relationships.
To me, self-love is a very practical, concrete, and measurable practice. For example, if I am able to spend the holidays without setting high-performance expectations on myself, I have succeeded. If I am able to ask for help around the house, and not feel that I have to do it all alone & then feel miserable, then I have also succeeded.
It's a daily practice. It's a practice. And sometimes, I fail. That's OK too.
To me, self-love is NOT about:
- being rich,
- fulfilling every desire I have,
- doing whatever I want whenever I want,
- not caring about others,
- being happy all the time.
Self-love, to me, means:
- Understanding that my parents can't help me heal. They can't! They are not capable - a big shout out to my friend Katerina, who has helped me understand that.
- That behind every sadness, anger, jealousy, or comparison that I experience, there is pain. Usually, connected to the feeling that "I'm not good enough" or "There is something wrong with me."
- Remembering that none of that is true. And that healing myself means returning to MY TRUE SELF - the place of non-judgment and unconditional love TOWARDS MYSELF. Remembering that I am perfect.
- Love heals everything. Everything. It just takes time.
As Anita Moorjani says,
"You were born perfect, and you will die perfect."
A huge and whole-hearted YES to that.
With love,
Mariya