It's Not Enough to Talk ❤️
Jan 09, 2024
I want to contemplate with you today what it means to be\live\act BIG.
I get this request a lot from my clients: I am tired of playing small & I want to change it.
While the way it manifests in the lives of different people varies, it has an underlying similarity: NOT LETTING FEAR RUN YOUR LIFE. Often, not consciously, but habitually.
Whether it's
- being reactive with your kids,
- not posting on social media, or
- holding a job that you have outgrown
- and more ...
Last week, I sat down with Monica (a made-up name), a client of mine who decided that she was tired of playing small.
During the session, we didn't talk much about it, because talking isn't enough. Cognitive understanding isn't enough. It touches only the conscious mind. And we need to create a transformation on all levels: conscious, subconscious, physical, energetic, and emotional.
You have to feel it in your body, recognize, and own it, see a different possibility for yourself, and start to embody a new way of being & living.
I guided Monica toward what stood in the way of her playing big.
It was her inner child, who decided that it was safer to shut down & live by the rules - in order to survive. She also shut off her connection to her own inner wisdom, because it didn't feel safe to express it.
We worked with her inner child, talked to her, and felt her: ANGER, FRUSTRATION, RESENTMENT, GRIEF, and FEAR.
We didn't try to suppress those emotions - that's what she was doing now for 30+ years. Instead, we gave them the expression and love they needed.
Then, we were able to connect to the higher perspective - of love/ wisdom/discernment & peace. She started overcoming those emotions and transmuting them in order to move on.
As the session unfolded, we discovered how this habitual pattern manifests in Monica's life. She was numbing herself to not feel what she felt. And, as a result of that. she didn't speak up, held her ideas and opinions to herself, limited her choices in her personal and professional lives, and didn't feel that she had authentic relationships.
More specifically, she:
- had health issues
- held back in relationships & communication by people-pleasing & trying to get love from the outside, rather than giving that necessary love to herself
- tried to create a feeling of safety by overdoing, overworking, and overplanning, which led to burn-out & stress
- limited her creative expression
- felt, at times, lost and disconnected from herself as a habit of self-numbing.
The beauty of this work is that, in 60-75 minutes, we were able to dive deep and identify the root of what stands in the way of playing big. And begin to transform long-standing fears, choices, patterns, and limitations that impacted her life.
I want to leave you with 2 questions:
1. In what areas of your life do you NOT play big?
2. What steps can you take today to change that?
AND
If you are ready to go deeper, I have two amazing opportunities for you:
1. The upcoming Soulful Business Mastermind meets in person on January 20. We dive deep into patterns of playing small in business and help you release the numbness, fears, and desire for external validation. And help return to your BIG, wonderful, authentic self. And channel that version of you in business and life. All in the community.
2. One-on-one work with me. Feel free to schedule a conversation to see if it's the most amazing fit possible.
Finally, do you know the quote by Marianne Williamson,
"You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you."
(please, look up the entire version - it's profound!)
❤️, Mariya