Are You Addicted to Suffering?
Aug 02, 2022
Happy Tuesday, friend! ❤️
Are you addicted to suffering?
This question came up a few times last week during my coaching sessions with clients.
If you are, you are not alone.
What!!!! Is there even such a thing as an "addiction to suffering"? Believe it or not, YES!
In fact, when I look around, I see it more often than not. There are some roots of this normalized addiction.
Root #1
If you are spiritual, old-school spirituality was all about suffering. The more you suffer, the more points you get (for the afterlife). The more you suffer, the more you are like JC (talking about putting spiritual figures on a piedestal😊).
There are all kinds of meaning that the old-school spirituality was assigning to suffering: meaning of life, the purpose of life, and even self-identity.
Root #2
If you've experienced any kind of childhood trauma (most people have), that might be your comfort zone. Suffering feels like home. Familiar, however, isn't always useful. Familiar isn't something that we want to perpetuate.
Otherwise, how do we break out of the unhealthy generational patterns? You gotta be happy yourself so that your kids learn from you as an example. Just because you had a tough childhood doesn't mean that you need to have the rest of your life also being taught and full of struggle.
Root #3
Cultural conditioning. There are many cultures that are very serious, and somber. Those are the cultures that have gone through a lot of suffering throughout human history. And that becomes a part of cultural identity - almost like a trademark.
And I come from all 3 of these roots. Spiritual + trauma + Russian culture.
Here is a thing, friend, you CAN and you SHOULD lighten up your burden.
✨✨✨ You won't get the points in the afterlife for suffering a lot in this life. On the opposite, at the end of life, you might realize that you could and should have had it easier.
✨✨✨ I have lots of compassion for you if you have experienced childhood trauma. We are still learning, as a society, to parent children differently, respectfully, and with awareness. You can release and heal much of this pain. Learn lessons and evolve.
✨✨✨ There are many wonderful things that culture brings: food, music, dance, emotional intelligence, art, language, and some traditions. But don't take it all in blindly. Choose what's serving you and what's not. Leave the hardship behind.
This is one way to honor ancestors. They have suffered, but you don't need to keep suffering over and over and over. After all, they would want YOU to be happy as well. Isn't it the ultimate love? For kids to be happy!
If you need help lightening up your life, working through your suffering mindset and/or habits, as well as healing your body and soul with energy, I have some spots open this month for 1:1 healing/coaching. Reach out
Love,
❤️
Mariya