5 Top Challenges of the Past Year

Happy Tuesday, friend!  

It’s been gorgeous weather here in Boston, for the last week. And I loooove all the colors of the fall – it makes me believe in magic, goodness, and beauty.  

Today I want to get a bit vulnerable and share with you my top five challenges of the past year. To bring you up to speed, I became a mom in December 2020 and started my online business at the same time. There are some things I’ve learned along the way.  

1.  Authenticity (challenge #1)  

I am an in-person communicator. Connecting to people is easy for me. Because I am intuitive, I read people’s emotions and often empathize with their experiences. I don’t need to think about what I say, words just come out of my mouth.  

But being in the online space is a whole different ball game. I’m getting better at it now – just being myself. But it feels that I’ve gone through all kinds of limiting beliefs to drop deeper into that feeling of being myself. Here are a few of them:  

•  You need to know everything and be an expert 
•  You need to say something very smart every single time – I’m not smart all the time, FYI. 
•  You can’t curse or joke or talk about bathroom trips (some of my favorite topics) 
•  You can’t be creative 
•  It’s a waste of time 
•  You can’t have fun online 

If I have not been super authentic in some of my blog posts, please, forgive me, and know that I’m still re-calibrating.

2.  Time management (challenge #2) 

The three of us (myself, my partner Steven, and our son Amari) are hanging out at home all the time. It’s been a blessing in many ways. We get to spend tons of time together. And it also created challenges. 

I have 5 hours four days a week for my work. Yes, only 20 hours! And even less, because I also take walks, meditate, or sit on a toilet for 10 minutes (that’s my current luxury!)  

Can you build a business on less than 20 hours a week? 

-        Yes, you can! It’s not easy, but possible.  

These are just a few of my tricks:  

•  I’m a queen of mindset. Meaning, I often don’t dwell on things I have little control over. For example, if I don’t have control over what's happening with COVID (besides getting vaccinated and wearing a mask), I'm not going to stress about it. 
•  It took me some time to accept that I have WAY less time - for myself, for work, for leisure, anything really. Once that settled into my mind, I got creative. And super focused - during the times that I do have.  

3.  Self–esteem (challenge #3) 

I thought that after all the inner work I’ve done, high self-esteem is a given. However, whenever you cross into new territory -  of life or business - you have to learn again. You have to remind yourself to have an open mind, grow, and change. 

There was lots of learning, for sure! And these are just a few areas:

•  Business 
•  Marketing 
•  Money 
•  Technology 
•  Spirituality 
•  Motherhood 
•  Partnership 
•  Community  

At times, it was painful. And times, delightful. I'm finding more and more ease with the process. It required me to trust, and let go of a lot of ego-related notions around who I am. 

4.  Boundaries (challenge #4).  

I’ve said so many “NO”s this past year, and I often felt like a bitch. Having a baby, knowing my priorities (wanting to succeed in online business) has helped me to not take boundaries personally. I’ve learned to view boundaries as not a negative thing (e.g., “I am bad” or “another person is bad”).  

Instead, boundaries are about priorities. Given that I have limited time, energy, and resources.

It’s like learning to run a marathon. Unless you focus (and say no to distractions), you can’t complete. 

Here’re a few areas of my life where I set boundaries this year:  

•  Advice on parenting (unless I choose to seek one, or read a book, or consult an expert). Often, I found it counter-productive and not timely. For that reason, I had to be very selective about what I take in.  
•  Time. To say ‘no’ to some activities, which I would have done under different circumstances.  
•  Business services. Having realized that I can’t be everything for everyone, I eliminated some services and created some new ones that make the most sense.  
•       Highly negative people or negative conversations. Both drain my energy and it takes a while to re-bounce back.  

5.  Working alone (challenge #5).  

I’m a part of several online business and spiritual communities. I find them extremely fulfilling and conducive to growth. I also have amazing friends, who are there if I need them. I have a loving partner. I have teachers. Still, at times, I found myself alone in the process of business creation, motherhood, and change.  

I understand that it's somewhat normal. And also a reflection of my personal journey, where I try to remain myself (not losing myself) while being in a community. The old model is to give up your personal will, preferences, and desires for the whole. 

I learned to walk my own path. Sometimes, it’s been terrifying  (“What if I make a mistake?” or “What if it’s too hard?”). It’s also been extremely gratifying.  

It has taught me:  

•  I am stronger than I ever thought.  
•  Progress is made in little steps.  
•  I can trust myself (especially when I surrender the outcome).  
•  Have Fun. Do not waste a single day. Have fun every day.  

This brings me to the final message:  

I’ve had so much fun creating my course “Pay Yourself for Joy.” ™ Instead of just sharing with you a web link, I’m going to have a damn party!  

It begins next week.

You'll learn about the course content and get all the relevant details. Can’t wait. Make sure to check your email next week. 

With love 

Mariya  

P.S. Here is a fun video of Amari and me - winding down at the end of the day :) :) :) Lots of fun.  

P.P.S. Tell a friend or two about the upcoming party around Pay Yourself for Joy ™ – invite them to join.